BLACK MEN- ARE YOU AFRAID OF SOMETHING?

Me and the bestest where having a late night conversation that came to talking about men and cheating and seeming to have difficulties staying faithful. This discussion, like many others, just started to bring up different prospectives (from us two women of course) of why we felt this was. Since we deal mostly with black men this is where our direction was aimed. We began talking about past and present relationships, the hip hop influence on the thoughts of black men, and how white men came into the whole situation.

As stated in the last post, black men have a lot of odds stacked up against them just because of the color of their skin, but they contribute to some of those odds. I said that black men need to step up because these white boys are getting finer and finer and received some flak from some black men. One even called me a "crossova chick"..hummm.. why is it that when black women start praising white men, black men cant take it? Even though they try to place women of other ethnicities on a pedestal in comparison to black women?

While me and my girl was talking, we began to discuss how we believe that black men choose to cheat or "play the field" with so many women was because this was their way to control some aspect of their existence and to be respected in the eyes of other men when they dont receive much from society. By this I meant that white men are revered and respected until they have some sort of scandal or downfall in the public eye, and even after this he can still be idolized in a way. A black man has to do above and beyond to EARN the respect of others, which can be a long, endless fight. Black men are constantly fighting to gain some sort of status and recognition and I feel that ho'ing themselves around is the easiest and most prevelant way to do so. I am NOT talking about the rich entertainers or CEO's, even though they have their "parts" outside their pants half the time. These average young black men are trying to gain this status amongst their peers. The easiest thing for them to obtain are women..they want to show that they are valued amongst many different ones so they "play the field", love the drama and fights between women chasing them, they adore the pride they feel from having the respect from other men who idolize and even envy them for having all these women. But what does it give them outside of that? Does society see them ANY differently or worse? Does this make them more valuable in history?

I believe this is why when a black woman comes and begins to start looking at white men as options, they cant handle it. First, white men are seen as stealing their positions in the workplace. Next, respect from society. Then, stealing their respect from the justice system as black men are often less likely to receive equal treatment as white men. Fourth, stealing jobs and housing that should be theirs. And then THEIR WOMEN! O NO! But why dont black men respect their own women in order to try and keep them close? This is a question I cant answer. We continued to talk about how black men used sex as a way to gain status with the sentiment that more women=more respect. Love is not idolized in hip hop industry but promiscuity and lack of respect from women are. So, what do you think these young men are going to do? Go OUTSIDE of what is accepted by OTHER black men? In the African American world, respect from other black men sometimes is the only respect they will receive.

Why is it that a magazine titled BLACK MEN, has only half naked women on the covers! Why not uplift a BLACK MAN?? Maybe we were wrong, maybe this isnt it at all. We were NOT in ANY way saying this was the ONLY reason. This was all speculation against many other factors. If this is not a part of the reason, then what is?