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Thursday, August 13, 2009


I posted a statement on Twitter the other day and it went like: "Black men need to step up, these white boys are getting finer and finer"--> needless to say, I received a few negative statements regarding this from guys, but a LOT of ReTweets from the ladies. At first this was just a statement I had made just to make it and did not feel like explaining it to anyone. But I take to my blog when I want to vent.

What was originally meant by the statement was that black men are not respecting the black women as I believe they should (but to be honest some black women are not helping them to). That statement was to basically bring forth an issue that is rising right under the black man's nose rather he wants to believe it or not. Though statistics show that it is not prevailing as high as black man/white woman relationships, but black woman/white man relationships are climbing. However, of course this turned into a whole different thing, as this touchy subject usually does.

I was having a twitter-convo with HellNawShawty and he basically said that he loved black women but their attitude was much sharper than those of other ethnicities. He told me not to give up on black men. I preceded to tell him that I am with a black man, so all hope is not lost. I also revealed all the statistics that keep black men under-respected by society such as: low population in higher education, higher population in jail, higher unemployment rate, lower credit ratings, harder to be promoted in a job than a white man and so on. BUT WE STILL STAYED WITH BLACK MEN. However, they were so quick to turn their back on us for a white or other ethnicity of woman as they pulled the "attitude" card. Thats all they have. He had a point for sure but what I was trying to bring to light is that although black women have held faith with the black men, we are TIRED of being there for men with so many odds stacked against them from birth, then they turn around and have no problem of giving up on us at the first sign of an "attitude". Kanye famously said:

He gon' make it to a Benz out of that Datsun
He got that ambition, baby look in his eyes
(Jamie Foxx comes in)
This week he's moppin' floors, next week it's the fries
So, stick by his side
I know this dude's ballin, and yeah that's nice
And they gon' keep callin' and tryin'
But you stay right, girl
But when you get on, he leave yo' ass for a white girl

By this Kanye meant that the black woman stays by his side despite him being in a less than ideal financial state, even when guys with money come up to you and trying to get with you. But as soon as HE gets the big bucks, he has no problem leaving you for a white woman-- o so beautifully portrayed in Waiting to Exhale. It happens often.

Black women are starting to realize that they are not having a problem switching over to the other side, so why cant they? Why stay true to a race of men who belittle, demean, disrespect, undervalue, and dont appreciate their women but will praise another race's women. What HellNawShawty did say that was absolutely true was that we are the only race of people who do not back up each other 200%. We dont. Unless its covertly disguised under rocks, bolders and small mountains, we do not see as much self-hatred in any other race of people as we do in the black community. We constantly see the flaws in each other in the black community and then try to run to another race in order to try and escape the problems that are getting worse.

Well, take what you will with this but regardless this is what is happening rather we want to admit or address it or not


A.Smith said...

I try to be understanding of black men's perception of white men with black women. I truly do. But then I turn around and see some of the same black men who talk shit with a white girl.

Quite frankly, I just don't understand why we can't date who we want to date and be done with the whole thing. The fact that we struggle with this speaks volumes to me.

mizzeboni said...

YOU ARE SO RIGHT!! If you have followed me for a while on this blog or read other entries I have made it abundantly clear that I believe there is NOTHING wrong with interracial relationships, what I do find unnerving is when these relationships are formed as a way to alleviate the stress that is perceived to come along with dating a black woman (because lets face it, there are more than triple the amount of black men/white women relationships than the other way around). I feel that if you only run to other ethnicities because you do not want to deal with your own that is something that needs to be addressed. What was mentioned here was the alarming fact that black women arent taking it anymore. This was a call for black men to step up so that we can stay true to them like we have been, but it gets hard when you see it in the streets and the media of all these well to do, and aint-doin-well brothas arm in arm with someone from a different persuasion. We are tearing our own race apart. point blank.

LLnL said...

There are so many women who refuse to give up on black men regardless of how baldy they have been treated in past relaitonships. For the select few that are open to dating outside of their race I don't think gets to have an opinion. I've always been open to interracial dating with a contingency that have should also date your own... Now I don't care. Date however you want to, whoever you are attracted to and whoever treats you right...If that means white than that's alright!

Anonymous said...

All I see on this topic is a lot of conjecture and spinning of hypothetical statements. You don't fall in love and date a whole race of people. And when you leave your partner and find another person, it doesn't constitute some kind of betrayal if that new person is of another race. I'm with a Sudanese woman who takes all kinds of grief from jealous men in the Sudanese community for supposedly not giving them enough of a chance. What those guys don't get is that it's not about them - her dating a white man isn't some testament to their collective failure to monopolize the attention of the women in their community. She was just never interested in any of them personally.
I realize that this whole discussion about white man/black woman or black man/white woman emerges out of the unique history of White/African American relations in the United States (which isn't as much a factor in my own relationship, since my fiance and I were both born outside the US) but its really time to stop pestering people in interracial relationships about why they gave up on their own race. It just totally misunderstands why and how people choose partners in the first place. You fall in love with someone, and sometimes that person happens to be of another race. If there's a woman out there who's upset about me betraying her race (unlikely), I'd urge her to consider her own options:) For African-American women as well, dating men of other races isn't about giving up on something or betrayal -- its about empowerment and making free and authentic choices.

Anonymous said...

My mother once told me, that, regardless of what race, every single man wants at least one chance with a black woman. We are strong, sassy, beautiful, smart and loyal creatures. However, all great characteristics, but sometimes this can come off as aggressive to any common man. I met a beautiful white boy the other day and we chatted about nothing important (weather, local activities, sports, etc) His body language suggested that he wanted to do more than talk about about sunny skies. Perhaps it was my surprising wit, or kinky Afro that scared him off. Some of us are natural beauties which the black man can't understand either.

Claire247 said...

I have always loved black men through everything... Blatant disrespect in reference to my blackness... I love them but I'm not waiting for them to sow their oats and then decide they want us. Not only that white and Hispanic guys have always been more attracted to me then my own kind... And I'm not getting younger so interracial dating is the route I'm going...



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