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Sunday, August 23, 2009


SORRY I havent posted in a while..I dont know why I havent, I just havent. But I am back and in FULL effect. How has everybody been doing? Well, I am just goin to jump into to it. I ran across a saying that was mentioned on one of my favorite gossip sites ( and when I read it, I realized I had heard it before. It went:

"All Relationships are open, women just dont know about it"

Well, I have heard this expression, expressed in a different form, but sent the message just as clearly. What got me about this is that some men really do think like this and the problem is that some women just dont know about it. By this I mean, that some women really get into relationships with men that believe that this is the way to be and dont know it. I feel sorry for them because this relationship will never last. And what is even more sad is that these men are the reasons that it wont, yet they are still stringing these women on as though nothing is wrong with this pattern of thinking.

But the thing that gets me is that men wonder why we have so much resentment towards them sometimes. You go around with the mentality that you will cheat when the opportunity presents itself but then want to say whats wrong with women!?!? This is what is wrong, you are wasting someones TIME, time they will never get back. I always say that I wouldnt care if I broke up with someone and couldnt get the money invested in the relationship back, lost some friends/acquaintances over it, lost sleep because of the arguing, none of that mattered in comparison to the TIME I lost over someone who never was in it for the long haul. Do not get me wrong, I am not talking about those who may have cheated and felt remorseful, that can work if the two people really want it to. What I am talking about is those men who feel that whatever new piece of meat is out there, it is available for the taking.

My question to those men are: WHY DO YOU GET IN A RELATIONSHIP? I have always asked men this question who have been known to "stray" more than a couple times. No one has given me a reason that has really captured me in order to say, "MAN, I get it now". NOPE, NOT ONE! I mean, if you want to play the field, not be tied down, not ready for a relationship, want to be able to be free to do whatever you please THAT IS FINE! But why do you drag someone into your mess? Why even be in a relationship with this woman who is trying to give you her all if you are not even giving a fraction? You may pay some bills, go to work, buy her some stuff, but do you think that is all it takes for a woman to be happy and feel secure? That does work for some women and I suggest you find that one and be with her so you can cheat on her all you want as long as you keep them bills paid.

Most women do not want or care for this lifestyle. I am just baffled at times by the number of guys that are in relationships but will be quick to jump on the next piece of ass that passes by. WHY DO YOU GET IN A RELATIONSHIP?!! Why bring this women into a false hope that you are the one when she is just the one-for-right-now to you? I am not putting down those men who want to be man-whores and go spread their seed around the general population. If that is what you choose to do with your life then that is fine with me, but I suggest you do it alone. Men often want to blame a woman for being "crazy" when he tries to break up with her. Here is a newsflash: Its because you wasted her TIME! By that I mean that the anger is not only built up from what was done, but also because she looks at the time invested into this man that ended up not being the right one for her. Men often can go around and say that they will settle down when they are older, when they are ready for a serious relationship. Women are almost biologically built with this inner time clock, we dont have TIME to try and wait for you to "be ready". So when we feel that you have wasted our time that could have been with someone who WAS ready, it enrages us.

I wish all men would just be like "I am not ready for a relationship, but we can try and get to know one another"..or something of that nature. I know that there are men who tell a woman up front that they are not looking for something serious and the woman still gets involved with this guy. THIS IS FOR WOMEN: WHY DO YOU GET INVOLVED WITH THIS GUY? I know why, there are two reasons: 1) You think that if you sleep with him and hang out with him, he will eventually try to turn around and realize that you are the one, or 2) You think that you are strong enough to handle this type of relationship. Im telling you now that both scenarios dont work. They dont, sorry. So if a guy tells you that he is not looking for a relationship, dont get upset if he is seeing other people! Sorry, you cant. At least he was man enough to tell you and not try to talk the noise in order to get you and dont mean a lick of any of it.

The point of this post was to try and address an issue that goes on and does not need to be. If you are not ready for a relationship then dont be with someone. And if you are in one, you need to know that if this person you are trying to cheat with is worth ruining the relationship you are in, then you dont need to be with the person you're with. Point blank. When men start realizing that their opinions on cheating and being unfaithful is flawed, then maybe you may start seeing a change in women. think about it.


justMillicent said...

I agree with you completely. My problem is more with the women who just accept that "this is the way it is." I have a friend that says "all men cheat, some are just more respectable about it." I have to tell her that no cheating is respectable, but she's stuck in that mind frame. If we, as women, just sit back and shrug our shoulders, men will continue to think that this is ok.

yours truly said...

i have always felt this way. there are a lot of men out there who make things more complicated than they need to be and the women who encourage it are just as bad. be honest with yourself and admit relationships aren't for you. the men who settle in relationships when they're not ready are exactly why there are females out there who feel that as long as he's no one's husband, he's fair game.

a lot of us out here need to wake up for real. the lack of respect for each other is beyond ridiculous IMO.

mizzeboni said...

@JustMillicent and YoursTruly: I agree with you both. We women always wanna blame the man, sometimes its not always them. Havin that attitude that all men cheat is only allowing them to use that as a crutch to hang onto a man that cheats. Its ridiculous. I feel that men too are to blame because most women value honesty. I have had friends sit there and say they messed with a dude that told them he didnt want to be in a relationship, then get mad after messing with him for 4-5 months and he aint taking it to the next step. HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT ONE. I think there is a level of respect I have for these guys because at least they bein real. But at the same time, they use this as a way to sleep with multiple girls without bein locked down. ummmm, shame.

Dr.Dar said...

As long as both parties have an agreement and are clear about their boundaries and how their 'open' arrangement will work - I don't consider it cheating. Having said that, it is not for me.

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