DID HE CONTRIBUTE TO HIS OWN DEMISE?

Ok, I want to first start out by saying that I am saddened by Steve McNair's death. Not because of who he was or what he was doing but because I feel that any death at the hands of someone else is particularly sad. No matter what he was doing or not doing he did NOT deserve to die for it.

(first below: mcnair and wife, mcnair and mistress (further below)

WELL, now that that's clarified I will continue on with my post. Below are some reader comments on the post of McNair's confirmed murder-suicide that was posted on Yahoo today:

"My heart goes out to the children, wife, mother, and family of McNair andKazemi's family. God is the only judge!!!How can anyone that has a heart believethat these people deserved to die???? We all make mistakes in life but God hasforgiven us and has allowed us another opportunity to get it right.This is aperfect example of how we need to be wise in our decision making, because somedecisions we make cost us dearly...."



"All of you people talking trash about McNair for what he did shouldreally chill, I am not saying he was right for what he did. I know he was wrongbut none of you know what was going on in his home. For all you know his wifecheated first or something happened to drive him away"



"I personally have no sympathy for McNair. He wsa a cheater and thats whatcheating couples deserve. He had a good wife and kids at home. If crime doens'toccur because of money or drugs, its because of women (cheating couples)"



"This is truly another tragedy of STUPID PENIS PROPORTION! Why is itthat men find it so hard to stay faithful to the women who love them. Aren't you(MEN) supposed to be the stronger sex! Then why do the majority of you go aroundallowing your little head to determine your behavior. I guess God should haveput your brains in your penis but then, with the way the majority of you are,you would probably go around trying to shove your big head into every availablehole and nothing would ever get done,"



"Dont think any of us have the right to judge the poor man...or the poorgirl. It is just so sad, seems like he had everything to live for...but dont weall? Maybe we can learn something from his mistake and turn our focus on beingbetter people ourselves"



"this goes out to john for his post about steve. you talk down on peopleas if you can walk on water, remember that no man is rightous and your just aswrong for calling him curse words"



"The battlefield of football, you have to be kidding, paid millions toblow it all on whores and watches.You football players take yourself's way to serious. This guy was a cheating husband just like mikeee jackson was apedophile"



"you people need to quit judging him. no1 ever said he was perfect. weall make mistakes. and we all like pretty girls. we dont know what was going onwith his wife. maybe they were on the outs. you dont know. you are not an angelyourself."

As you can see there are a lot of mixed views on the situation as expected. I believe there are a lot of people who feel torn between who to feel more sorry for, him or his wife? the girl, who was probably emotionally unstable, or her family, who will probably judged for the rest of their lives based off the actions of someone else? I mean, I am not going to lie, front, deceive any of you. Part of me is not feeling bad because I believe in the sanctity of marriage and that whatever is done in the dark will always come to light. But a much bigger part of me feels extremely sad because this just DIDNT need to happen.

This ultimately leads to the question that may have touched everybody's mind at least once after hearing the news: If he hadn't cheated, would he still be alive?

Right now I am just going to say what I am feeling and thinking in my head (my apologies if it sounds harsh). First, I feel that is no ones right to judge others, that is God's. But at the same time it happens, that is what makes us human, not God. I believe that yes, everyone has a right to some privacy but if you open your life up to the public eye, you open yourself up to public opinion. My opinion on the entire situation is that ultimately it couldve been avoided. Some are going to believe that when your time is up, its up. By this I mean that God has not specified the time, date, place or how we are going to end up dying in life. All he promises is that its going to happen. If he didnt die this way, does that necessarily mean that he would not have died another at this time? I feel that this is correct but at the same time I feel that maybe this was God's answer. We conceptualize cheating/adultery as a moral faux-pas , while glazing over the fact that this is a sin. We dont know God's thoughts or why he does the things he does, but we cant look at it solely as if he werent cheating he would have possibly still died another way. I believe that God gives us chances based on mercy and grace and when those chances are up, they are up. We dont know. Again, NOT saying that this is the reason just throwing ideas to ponder on out there. It is just one way that I look at it because I feel that there are multiple ways to view a single thing-its called being open-minded.

I feel that this was avoidable because what I ultimately believe is that if he never stepped out of his marriage and shacked up with this woman,he would still be alive. Do NOT get it confused with me saying that he deserved this, understand that statement will NEVER appear in this post. If he would have kept it in his pants or officially divorced his wife, he may still have had a chance (i originally put "shot" SOOOOO unintentionally, i just thought i just HAD to tell you guys). I say this because even if he divorced his wife and met up with the mistress later on, he may still have not ended up with the same fate. I believe in my heart of hearts that he was more than likely promising that girl that he was going to leave his wife and that is why she did it. Some are not going to agree with me and some maybe a little but I just cant help the way I feel. I mean just looking at the circumstances surrounding the events how can I not? The saddest thing about the whole ordeal is the children involved, they lost their dad due to his own actions. Not saying that he killed himself, but I highly highly doubt that someone would just kill another for absolutely NO reason. He participated in a game of russian roulette when it came with women and his turn had the bullet in it ( OH MY GOD!! ALL THESE UNINTENTIONAL PUNS!! I swear Im coming across these as I re-read them after posting). His children are going to miss out on life with their father because of a choice he made. We often try and live this life like we are our sole beneficiaries of it, we live like our decisions dont affect others, like our life essentially doesnt affect others when this is further from the truth.

I am a product of a marriage that dealt with adultery so this is why I feel the way I do. I have seen how one person's decision trickles down between the edges and cracks to every person of the family. They only go after what they want and attain it, not caring about how the people who loved them the most would suffer. Sometimes death is the easier way out, pain is more tragic. Is on-going and whenever time decides it wants to heal it, maybe it will stop. But dealing with someone on this level has even a more profound affect because the pain reaches across the country. He not only ruined his family (and i say HE because HE is the one with the commitment to his wife and had kids by her, dont understand? read my post on "Blaming the Other Woman"), he ended a career, and left loved ones and fans. Im not saying that he deserved it or he was an evil person. Everybody is affected by cheatingin one point in their life, you are either doing the cheating or being cheated on. I think that this was a man who made a fatal decision that he alone was responsible for making. YES I AM GOING TO GET A LOT OF HATE FOR SAYING THIS BUT ITS HOW I FEEL! He was the one who decided to enter into a relationship with this girl, he was the one married to someone else, he was the one who leased apartments and condos with this girl who presumably believed that he was really in love with her (who wouldnt?), the only thing is that he wasnt the one who pulled the trigger. Again, I never said he DESERVED it, do not get me wrong. We must really take a step back and realize that just because we may be a victim in something, does not mean we didnt have a responsibility in the outcome. Take the Rihanna/Chris Brown situation, that girl didnt DESERVE that beatdown, but you cant expect to hit a man and him not hit you back. If you woman enough to put your hands on a man, be woman enough to accept the consequences. If you are MAN enough to step outside your marriage and turn your back on your family, be MAN enough to accept the consequences.


We are all human, we all make mistakes. NO we do NOT deserve to die for them, however, just because they are our mistakes dont mean that others dont suffer from them.