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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

ARE WE STILL BLAMING THE WOMAN?


"And I’m sorry but Rihanna and her skanky ass needs to go sit down somewhere. Parading around with a married man and his child. Dumb whore!"

"Dont get mad because we finally see the reason Rihanna was always around Jay-z. Its cause she’s been screwing his married friend. Thats who’s been flying her out to all these events that everyone wanted to say she was there for Jay-z while the whole time she was getting it in with Jay Brown."

"Exactly what is she quietly stating to young girlz? It’s ok to look triflin 24-7, to hang off of other peoples husbands, to bounce from one man to another quicker than a Jordan pass?"
"Rihanna gonna get an ass whooping from his wife cause I know when she saw these pics she was heated. This chick was babysitting your kid and now you see her hugged up with your husband.Hell no"

"While that may be true, it doesn’t explain why she’s sitting on a MARRIED MAN’S lap. Everybody understands that she must be going through a lot of personal turmoil with the whole Chris situation, but she’s starting to look like a doorknob"

"And she is hugging up on men with wedding bands."

"..but the fact that she is hanging around a bunch of men who are married or who have women, thats a problem. Why dont she hang with single people, where are her friends other than mel. "

"Anyway, it is seriously inappropriate for Ri to be dressed like a ??? out with married men…smh not a good look! "

"WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD SHE BE SITTING ON A MARRIED MAN’S LAP?!"
Those were just SOME of the 203 (last time I checked) on this post on the website theybf.com(note: my favorite celebrity blog site) in regards to the above pictures. The post was regarding the "alleged" involvement of Rihanna to married men. Nothing has been clarified or made fact but we all know how the things with celeb blogs go. I mean, sometimes it is a lot of speculation and rumors to fill in a slow news day, but there are other times when they are completely dead on (even when the celebrity initially denies it, i.e Lauren London and Jennifer Hudson pregnancies). In reading this post tying Rihanna with some married men, I did not come across ONE post out of all the ones I read,


WAIT, let me correct that, there was ONE : "everyone is quick to attack Rihanna when that “married man” is clearly engaging with her"


that did not completely throw her under not only the bus but the cement under the wheels under the bus that was loaded with little baby children. I was shocked by the things being said about this girl. I know that celebrities take the risk of being judged as a sign on "bonus" into the industry but I believe that completely judging someone who do not know is outrageous. Especially when your only connection to this person comes in magazines or on the internet.


HOWEVER, this is not the purpose of this post. The point of this post was to address the issue that we are STILL, somehow, blaming the woman! I mean, why did I read only ONE post basically saying "WHERE IS THE BLAME ON THE MEN?". Why is it that we are still only focusing on how the woman is behaving, acting, appearing and completely judging her on this? Why is it that these men are not receiving any harsh words or derogatory comments thrown at them? THEY are the ones that are supposedly married. THEY are the ones that are in a relationship with someone else. THEY are the ones who is supposedly allowing Rihanna to "sit" on their laps, or throw THEIR arms around her. Maybe I need to take a few more looks because Im not seeing ANY gun to either one of their heads. Why is it that we automatically go on attack mode at the woman. I believe part of it is the double standard of society. I believe the other part of it is that it was a lot of women who were commenting and maybe they seen themselves in that situation. But why wouldnt you blame YOUR man or husband? He is the one in the relationship with you. Why would you attack the female when she has no ties or commitments to you? We see a certain situation and for some reason we just zoom in on everything the female is doing while taking little attack on the man (i.e SUPERBOWL-JANET-WARDROBE MALFUNCTION).


In every post on the topic there were people continually saying that "o, that is not a good look for her, she shouldnt be sitting on a married mans lap", WHY would a married man let a woman sit on his lap!? I dont want it to seem like I believe the rumors because I completely know that there are plenty of men/woman friendships that don't lead to raging sex. I am just drawing attention to the hypocricies that are very present in our society. Shoot me if I believe that if two people are caught stealing, they should both pay the equal price, not one person should take 99% of the punishment. I dont know why we are still set in this 1920 mindset where it was very known that men were out cheating on their wives and spouses and it was known but the whole "boys will be boys" ideal was running rampant. And that mentality is all around today.


Let me explain: We know that these married entertainers (lets take the music industry) are having relations with their groupies, not all, but a LOT. Lets just be honest. And some of their partners know about these relations (i.e- all the celebrities that "superhead" were involved with and they vehemently attacked HER but took no real stance on these married men). However, let a woman (lets say Tila Tequila- who is "supposedly" sleeping with a LOT of industry men) do the same thing, she is damn near crucified for it. WHY? Because society has told us that this is the thing to do, society told us that "men will be men, and want to sow their wild oats" and we accept it, society tells us that there is inherently an unequal balance in gender biases. We just want to persecute the woman, without any reason sometimes, and let the man go free. What about McNair who just passed, along with the woman he was "allegedly" seeing outside of his wife. Where is the public outrage on that? All I am seeing is R.I.P but Rihanna is getting talked down worse than a dog. Why was this MARRIED man with another woman in a rented condo under both their names? Why are we not hearing the media backlash on this? But it was all "DOWN WITH JANET" after the superbowl incident which I completely believe was an accident (why would she flash her breast knowing its live and their are children in the audience, that dont even seem like her). Every media outlet was barrading and attacking her, but we receive condolences after a worse situation. I know the man is dead, and it may not be the time, but the casualty of their disregard of his extramarrital affair just seems WRONG to me.


But maybe I am the only one who still believes that equality does not stop at race relations.

5 comments:

yours truly said...

it's interesting how those commenters speak on the "example" rhi sets for young women, but don't even realize that the same married man should be setting an example for YOUNG MEN out there as well. it's the double standard that doesn't really surprise me at all these days. it's not right but it shows exactly why gender relations continue to be the way they are. because it's easier to kick females down alone than make both men and women accountable.

TRU said...

Thanks for posting a comment on my blog! Oh, and yeah it's weird how she's on two guys. Idk what that girl is thinking nowadays. It may be a publicity stunt or she may really be messing around with both guys lol

mizzeboni said...

You know what yours truly, I NEVER even thought abou that! That statement was so profound. I never even took it from the angle of what these BLACK men should be teaching to these black younger men. All these young boys are seeing is sex, everybody sleepin with everybody and then all they want to do is imitate this lifestyle and think its ok. But at the end of the day, I still believe that everyone is responsible for themselves. I see a lot of girls and women sleeping around and cheating on their men, but i CHOOSE not to do that and not try to place blame on others for my own actions..

love your replies girl

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